Shooting Star

It's been awhile~!!Since the last time I've blogged,ehm..hehe,so many things have changed...unbelievably~!EXAMS have been over since ages ago and the first week of holidays is slowly ending...

Tuesday was awesome~!!!I finally fulfilled my dimsum craving;p

It was a hell of a surprise to see Joe there, since I was only talking to him the night before and was quite sure that the possibilities of seeing him was close to nil.HAHA but yeh,was pretty awesome.

Ah...realised the past few posts have been damn emo and lame, but all that is disappearing. Well I'll look at them as a moment in time but the present is so much better.Being able to hang with my friends and not give a damn about the past really got me to move on in life and feel super blessed and happy with every good thing that comes my way. So yeh...
In this point in time, maybe there's something new...Hehe...;p Let me just say,rawr~
OH~!!I've recently got a ball dress from a friend who desn't need it. At first I was like err,but then when I actually wore it,i ws like oo la la,not bad;p
There's so much more to say, but right now,all I want to do is watch my korean dramas and talk...ehm,hehe^^
Life so far is like a shooting star,beautiful yet going by so fast,anywayz byies for now,hehe
SMILES!!

Fool

Sorry for not blogging for so long!!!Been busy as man, gay persiod zeros and exams are coming up. Anyway fell sick yesterday so woke up quite late today..:( Been having many thoughts on my mind still and today I came to a thought,why did I trust him in the first place? Knowing that he has many relationships with other girls, why did I let myself fall for him? Also knowing he's a player...Feel like such a fool...biggest fool on earth, now getting my heartbroken every single day...
What he said to me, feel as though they were all lies...he's always looking for better girls, how can I possibly be the last? Saying I was the best, saying that he would want to marry me...why did I think they were true? Feelings can change and they just become mere rubbish...
"Babo" would be what I would be called in korean, an utter fool.
I guess in god's view, I learnt how to trust, even with such acknowledgement of being with someone who lacks in commitment...
I still feel it was such a waste for things to have ended the way they did...We could've been so much more...haiz...
anyway byies for now
SMILES!

Change...

It's now thursday and I'm still crying. I'm kind of doubting that it's because of tiredness now...How can I let someone make me feel so pathetic...and utterly helpless...Make me feel so lost...? Love for him is now driving me insane...Watching this drama made me wonder, was I ever good enough for him...? If I wasn't I would do my best to be enough...I thought I was...Is it stupid to chase after lost love...? Sometimes second chances turn out and I wouldn't know unless I try...
Hmm...I don't know...I'll just continually pray about it...
Now it's time to study hardcore,exams coming up...HAIZ!!!SUCKS SO BAD!!!Oh wellzzz, get's things off my mind.
Anyway currently loving "You never said goodbye" by ramzi
HEHE
SMILES!!

miscellaneous

Tired-ness hit me once again today...Miscellaneous memories pour in, making tears fall...Miss that smile, miss the times, miss him...He was perfect and I'm still wondering why it had to end...I'm praying and hoping for the second chance and hopefully being forever. Does that seem stupid to you?HAHA...
Did he even truely love me...What he said, did I just fall...?
I want to find my way to his heart like how he found mine...Would it be ok??Hmm...I would do anything to see that smile of his again...I'll just let time change things like how it always does...
God always answers my prayers, I know...He answers me sooner than what I thought...Which, makes me appreciate things so much more...
I want an i-phone. Just so I can play all those fun apps. HEHE yesh, to pass time, I ask for whoever that has an i-phone to pass it to me,ehe...
Hmm...randomness and blurness...me...HAHA today...mm ok I'm tired. That's all I got to say,XD
SMILES!!

Still cut so deep...

Today sucked so bad...barely passed chem period zero and think I didnt do that great in human bio either.SIEN-ness...>:C
I also think that because of my tiredness, i've been crying alot...I started missing him again, things just keep reminding me of him...especially songs...songs like have you ever...fall for you...nothings gonna change my love for you, when you say nothing at all...so many...Maybe if I have my sleep I'll be less emo...haiz...
On Sunday my mum was like seriously, your husband needs to be a chef, You always want to eat the things from outside. Then I was like hehe...Him...
I feel happy if I look on the bright side...Saturday was the one time where we talked face to face after such a long long time...I wonder if there is really such thing as 2nd chances in being with someone...It did feel like the beginning...
Anyway life's full of surprises and I'm loving it...So many people found love recently,so cute and sweet...I wonder if I could be lucky enough to be with him again...HEAPS OF PRAYER!! I would do anything to make things work again between us and make it so much better...I really would...
LOVE is such a funny thing...
SMILES!!

A new beginning??

Long time no blog!!! Hehe man this weekend has seriously been awesome. But I was meant to be studying for human bio and chemistry!!!DX
Anyway yesterday was awesome. We did the filming for mother's day vid. Was so fun.!! Looking good so far. HAHA never thoought it would be so fun. Then after, we went to meng how's place to edit it. Took forever.
STRAIGHT AFTER I had to go to Mark's b-day surprise party. I thought it was the week after!!!I never had so much fun with mark and dance people for so long. Miss those days...hehe god's blessings overflowed yesterday. It was just too awesome. Got home at around 2am...ehm...hehe played mah jong, rock band, explored apartment,ate heaps, laughed lots!!
It felt like those days before him and I got together...The awkardness from not really knowing each other. Felt as though I felt the way I did before. As I was on the way home, memories just flooded my mind and I couldn't help but let the tears fall down my face. I tried so hard to stop, I didn't want to bother him...I must say I am still pretty much in love with him. When I think of someone else, I don't know why but I would start hurting...Weird,I know...OH WELLZ!!
This weekend has really been the answers to my prayers so once again, i feel god is real in my life. I know that he listens to my prayers...
Today has been awesome too!!!Went to watch iron man 2!!Pretty good movie!!!
So right now, life's too good to be true, all thanks to God above.
(Songs I'm currently loving-babysteps by varsity and i'll never be the same if we ever meet again by katy perry)
Anyway gtg
SMILES!!

Nothing's gonna change...

Today, as the hours go by, with nothing to do, it was my first time in a long while listening to a particualr song...I use to use it as my alarm song and I would just lay there and listen...Tears would always fall because it was the sweetest song I've ever heard...It was sung to me by the person I treasure so deep, to ask me to be his girlfriend. It's something I'll never forget. I've always wondered why God gave him the plan to sing to me...to convince me to be with him. Why couldn't he just ask me out like normal...?
27th of September was the first time I've ever heard this song.

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever all so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
you outta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You outta know by know how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Just like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too...

I know he meant every word of the lyrics at the time...I wish I could sing it to him one day and find him like how he found me...I clearly still love him but I can't do much at the moment... I still feel as though we were meant to be...but maybe not at this very moment...
This point in my life is so heart wrenching...It is twisted all the time, I would feel happy, then I would be sad, I would miss him, and love him...I don't know how long this is going to last for...
After a week has passed I truely have been happy, never thinking too much of him and enjoying life. But as that time passed, I finally realised that I haven't loved him right and lost the true meaning. Near the end of our relationship I became selfish and hasty and all I wanted to do was to see him. I realised that loving someone is not always just spending time with them and going out, but to take care of them and to sacrifice your needs, also to understand them. I guess I'm not ready, I can't take care of someone but after next year, I would be able to take care of the person I love. I would be free enough to be with them when they're not well, share warmth and to prepare nice meals for them to help them get better. I would've done those things for him if only I could. I would pop by his place before he returns from school or work so I could greet him home and let him rest in my arms. I want to make him laugh and smile when he's down...I would be able to see him whenever he wanted to see me...I really would do my absolute best...

WELL now is not the time to be thinking of these things, better study study study!!EXAMS coming up...
lolzz...smiles!