Fool

Sorry for not blogging for so long!!!Been busy as man, gay persiod zeros and exams are coming up. Anyway fell sick yesterday so woke up quite late today..:( Been having many thoughts on my mind still and today I came to a thought,why did I trust him in the first place? Knowing that he has many relationships with other girls, why did I let myself fall for him? Also knowing he's a player...Feel like such a fool...biggest fool on earth, now getting my heartbroken every single day...
What he said to me, feel as though they were all lies...he's always looking for better girls, how can I possibly be the last? Saying I was the best, saying that he would want to marry me...why did I think they were true? Feelings can change and they just become mere rubbish...
"Babo" would be what I would be called in korean, an utter fool.
I guess in god's view, I learnt how to trust, even with such acknowledgement of being with someone who lacks in commitment...
I still feel it was such a waste for things to have ended the way they did...We could've been so much more...haiz...
anyway byies for now
SMILES!

Change...

It's now thursday and I'm still crying. I'm kind of doubting that it's because of tiredness now...How can I let someone make me feel so pathetic...and utterly helpless...Make me feel so lost...? Love for him is now driving me insane...Watching this drama made me wonder, was I ever good enough for him...? If I wasn't I would do my best to be enough...I thought I was...Is it stupid to chase after lost love...? Sometimes second chances turn out and I wouldn't know unless I try...
Hmm...I don't know...I'll just continually pray about it...
Now it's time to study hardcore,exams coming up...HAIZ!!!SUCKS SO BAD!!!Oh wellzzz, get's things off my mind.
Anyway currently loving "You never said goodbye" by ramzi
HEHE
SMILES!!

miscellaneous

Tired-ness hit me once again today...Miscellaneous memories pour in, making tears fall...Miss that smile, miss the times, miss him...He was perfect and I'm still wondering why it had to end...I'm praying and hoping for the second chance and hopefully being forever. Does that seem stupid to you?HAHA...
Did he even truely love me...What he said, did I just fall...?
I want to find my way to his heart like how he found mine...Would it be ok??Hmm...I would do anything to see that smile of his again...I'll just let time change things like how it always does...
God always answers my prayers, I know...He answers me sooner than what I thought...Which, makes me appreciate things so much more...
I want an i-phone. Just so I can play all those fun apps. HEHE yesh, to pass time, I ask for whoever that has an i-phone to pass it to me,ehe...
Hmm...randomness and blurness...me...HAHA today...mm ok I'm tired. That's all I got to say,XD
SMILES!!

Still cut so deep...

Today sucked so bad...barely passed chem period zero and think I didnt do that great in human bio either.SIEN-ness...>:C
I also think that because of my tiredness, i've been crying alot...I started missing him again, things just keep reminding me of him...especially songs...songs like have you ever...fall for you...nothings gonna change my love for you, when you say nothing at all...so many...Maybe if I have my sleep I'll be less emo...haiz...
On Sunday my mum was like seriously, your husband needs to be a chef, You always want to eat the things from outside. Then I was like hehe...Him...
I feel happy if I look on the bright side...Saturday was the one time where we talked face to face after such a long long time...I wonder if there is really such thing as 2nd chances in being with someone...It did feel like the beginning...
Anyway life's full of surprises and I'm loving it...So many people found love recently,so cute and sweet...I wonder if I could be lucky enough to be with him again...HEAPS OF PRAYER!! I would do anything to make things work again between us and make it so much better...I really would...
LOVE is such a funny thing...
SMILES!!

A new beginning??

Long time no blog!!! Hehe man this weekend has seriously been awesome. But I was meant to be studying for human bio and chemistry!!!DX
Anyway yesterday was awesome. We did the filming for mother's day vid. Was so fun.!! Looking good so far. HAHA never thoought it would be so fun. Then after, we went to meng how's place to edit it. Took forever.
STRAIGHT AFTER I had to go to Mark's b-day surprise party. I thought it was the week after!!!I never had so much fun with mark and dance people for so long. Miss those days...hehe god's blessings overflowed yesterday. It was just too awesome. Got home at around 2am...ehm...hehe played mah jong, rock band, explored apartment,ate heaps, laughed lots!!
It felt like those days before him and I got together...The awkardness from not really knowing each other. Felt as though I felt the way I did before. As I was on the way home, memories just flooded my mind and I couldn't help but let the tears fall down my face. I tried so hard to stop, I didn't want to bother him...I must say I am still pretty much in love with him. When I think of someone else, I don't know why but I would start hurting...Weird,I know...OH WELLZ!!
This weekend has really been the answers to my prayers so once again, i feel god is real in my life. I know that he listens to my prayers...
Today has been awesome too!!!Went to watch iron man 2!!Pretty good movie!!!
So right now, life's too good to be true, all thanks to God above.
(Songs I'm currently loving-babysteps by varsity and i'll never be the same if we ever meet again by katy perry)
Anyway gtg
SMILES!!